Have you ever had to play nice with someone you really aren’t the biggest fan of but because you choose to be the bigger person you are polite and leave your true feelings aside? But then does it ever bother you to know what their true feelings are about you and it turns out they are playing nice with you too? What does it really mean to have a close friend? What does it mean when your friendships are inauthentic?
I was with someone at an event, someone who I didn’t care for because they would talk negatively about me to others, complain about me, and downright seem to have a genuine dislike for me living on planet Earth. At the event, this person chose to be my BFF and chat and hug me as if we were super close. I was cordial but in my mind I really couldn’t care less about this person who has made it a mission to insult me. Well it turns out when your “enemy” drinks a lot of wine they find you (the sober one) much more appealing to be around. Likewise, they were certainly more tolerable with wine in their system. But it got me thinking, why must there be this kind of inauthentic relationship? Sure I didn’t want to be treated in the way I would have been treated had they been sober, but at the same time this “relationship” was completely fake. It wasn’t real and it wasn’t something I treasured. So what was the point on their end for continuing to act as if they genuinely liked me when the truth was burried under their alcohol-smelling breath? And if I know the truth why did I choose to engage in the conversation? I’ll tell you: kindness. I was at the event to be supportive of friends. I did not attend in order to cause drama or make anyone else uncomfortable. And when the “enemy” approached, I was myself: polite and kind. Just because I wasn’t showing them my true feelings did not mean I still wasn’t true to who I am in the process. It isn’t about making another person mad or entice them to show their true colors. It’s about being you, even through tricky moments as discovering how real a friendship is.